Thursday, July 30, 2009

No Title

It's still been pretty rough around here. I just keep stopping and saying to my self that I will never be able to just pick up the phone or drive to anywhere and see her again. I called and talked to her older sister and that helped but still not so much. I still have to tell my Mom which is going to be very hard. For her Tina was around enough that she was the 4th daughter. Yes I know, it was Tina and Christina. I should tell you sometime about how I felt in first grade Sunday school being one of a few girls who weren't Mary Margaret,Mary Kate, Mary Katherine....etc....Any way there has been a lot of soul searching and tears.

I have this wonderful abilty to fool myself that I found a very long time ago. I guess it is a sheild from being abandoned and it seems to work for me. I seem to be able to convice myself that whoever has passed is on a trip or has moved away.I guess if you believe in an afterlife as I do then perhaps it isn't such a stretch?

I hate that she is gone but after hearing what she went through the last few months I'm glad she isn't in pain any longer.With lymphoma the cancer tends to go completely through the body and is not a kind way to go.I've decided already that when I die I will be around 135yo and it will be in my sleep.I refuse to go any other way except for perhaps a quick accident. :)

4 comments:

The Don ® said...

I am soooooooooooo sorry for your loss.. I have felt the pain of loosing a best friend, it was my cousin, it wasn't a long death, it was a quick accident at age 25, but that didn't make it easier on us..

~* Aria *~ said...

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Losing someone very loved is always so hard. :(

*HUGS*

christina/ohio said...

Thanks both of you. Don we all seem to think that we are all too young to die and then something like this happens and it shakes our mortality.

Thanks Aria. I knew her since we were both 12 yo, I'm still having a hard time believing that I just can't pik up the phone anymore.

Jewaira said...

The parting is the hardest part when a loved one passes on. Keep her close in your positive prayers